Jeff on a Roll

Part Deux

In the 15th century, medieval knights hung up their lances and suits of armor in their castle closets. Chivalry was dead and the Renaissance was born. It spread with great speed from its birthplace in Florence, Italy to the rest of Europe. Every region seemed to have its own take on humanism as there ... Read more

Physical Torture

Snap, crackle and pop is not just the sound you hear when you pour milk into Rice Crispies, it’s how your body talks during physical therapy (PT). Actually, after a rigorous session of being man or woman-handled, it’s quite like ly that you’ll lack the strength to talk. Many disabled people are all too ... Read more

Better Things to Do

Like cell phones, super bowls and Starbucks’ lattes, Facebook has become an indelible part of our lives. For some reason, it’s now imperative that the world be updated on every thing we do. Not only are we informed of one another’s daily activities, but also there are pictures to back it up. We now ... Read more

Slam into the Cockpit

After a lovely holiday with the folks in Florida, it was time to get back to reality. I had two kitties back home wondering where the hell Daddy went, and why he hadn’t at least called to check in. I also knew that Los Angeles shuts down when I leave town. (I wish, for ... Read more

Holiday Cheer

Christmas again. Can you believe it? It seems like just last year we had Christmas. I really enjoy this time of year: decking the halls, hustling and bustling, Rudolph and Herbie taking on the Abominable Snowman and, of course, all the yummy treats. In fact, it’s the only time of year you feel good ... Read more

Park at Your Own Risk

I feel I must revisit an age-old topic: abuse of the handicap parking space. Lately, I’m finding these things are like a girlfriend. Every time I need one, they’re all taken. Is it me, or does everyone now possess one of those blue and white placards hanging from their rearview mirror? It’s getting to ... Read more

A Tail of Two Kitties

The year was 492 BC and Zotikus had just arrived in Athens to study under the astute philosopher Euripides, so named because as a ticket-handler, theatergoers handed him their tickets and said, “you rip a these.” While Plato and Aristotle had stressed the mind and the body, individuality and happiness, Euripides was less conventional. ... Read more

Die Laughing

Recently I found out that I’m dying. The news really dampened my day. My doctor says that everyday I’m alive, I get closer to death; he predicts I may not make it past 90. Wow, dying. Now it’s all I can think about. Fortunately my spirits are high. As God is my witness, I’m ... Read more

Part II of the “Greek Geek” Adventure

Zotikus gathered a group a guys to go on his mission with him. He brought his best friend Maximus, a well-known playboy who despised Trojans, Atropos the juggler, Funicius the comedian and Efimia the mime—out-of-work entertainers looking for a little action. Kicking a clay pot down the street had gotten old. “I’m down for ... Read more

Humor — Adulthood is Overrated

Circa 2012 Damn, life is hard. What happened? When I was a boy I couldn’t wait to be an adult. All the grown-ups I knew drove cars, went to R-rated movies and had plenty of money to spend however they wanted. Then, somewhere along the line, I took the leap into adulthood myself, and ... Read more

Humor Therapy — Coupons Are For Suckers

Circa 2011 I used to say, “A penny for your thoughts.” Not anymore, though, because I need that money. In fact, I’ve been pinching my pennies so hard that Lincoln’s nose oozes liquid copper. Forget putting in my two cents. Every day I hope my car will stop on a dime so I can ... Read more

Humor — Time’s A-Wastin’

Circa 2010 There’s some talk around town. Some very scary chatter. People say it is coming and will be here before we know it. I don’t want to alarm you but…the end of the world is just around the corner. I know. Isn’t it exciting? The good thing is, we have an exact date: ... Read more

Humor — Laziness is the Key to

Circa 2010 Americans are lazy. And you know what? I’d like to argue that laziness is a good thing. Laziness gets us going. It breeds innovation. After all, what do people want? They want something that can make their lives simpler. People will always buy that widget or gizmo that makes their day easier. ... Read more

Humor Therapy — Jockey: A Horse Tale (Pt. 2)

Circa 2011 In Part 1 of our story, Felipe yearned to be a great jockey, But shiny Avocado, the lazy horse Felipe’s father gave him, refused to budge-until it thought a bumblebee was on its tail. That’s when the horse reared up and took Felipe on a wild ride that ended with budding jockey ... Read more

Humor — I’m Okay, You’re Okay

Circa 2010 It’s hard to believe that 20 years have passed since the ADA was put into law. I remember the day when George Bush signed the legislation. Wow, that was 20 years ago? This milestone gave me cause to look back on how far I’ve come as a person with a disability and ... Read more

Humor — Blame Bin Laden

Circa 2009 There is a dying art in the world today. It is called taking responsibility for one’s own actions. It usually means that you were wrong doing something. But, come on, who wants to ever admit they were wrong? I must admit, irresponsibility is a big peeve of mine. The reason why is ... Read more

Humor Therapy — A Toast to Santa

Circa 2009-10 It was colder this year at the North Pole. The summer had brought about a record snowfall, and the drifts were higher than Robert Downey, Jr. The wind chill had dipped lower than the OJ Simpson dream team, and apathy had settled in like a flea on the back of a slobbering ... Read more

VACANCY – THERE’S NOTHING OUT THERE

Circa 2009 It’s that awful time again when I sit down at the computer, hoping to come up with a clever column. The problem is, I’ve got nothing. I’m just not feeling it right now. I’m not motivated to write about global warming, politics, the economy or even football. Crazy, isn’t it? Sorry. It’s ... Read more

Humor — I Do?

Circa 2009 With the divorce rate over fifty percent, should people get married? I say, why not? What the hell else is there to do? Really…What else is there to do? You can’t play football your whole life (I don’t care how big a girl you are). You can’t hit the bars every night. ... Read more

Asthma — Cat Got Your Lungs?

Circa 2009 It always starts at night. I wake up groggy, wondering if I heard a sound, or if my cat, Basil, curled up on my legs again and woke me. I’m a light sleeper. After that first hour of deep sleep, anything can stir me from slumber. But this time, it only takes ... Read more