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Dying to Know

Humor Therapy-Dying to Understand Death Image of a dark grim reaper with skeleton face and hand holding a coin. Backdrop of a light dipping beneath the dark horizon reflecting on water.

I just recently found out from my doctor that I’m dying. He says that everyday I’m getting closer to death. He also thinks that I may not make it past ninety-two. He predicts that I’m probably going to die of old age. Wow, can you believe that? Now it’s all I can think about. I never really thought that someday I’d be dead, but I guess everyone gets some challenges in this life. Right now, I have good days and bad ones. Yesterday my cat threw up on the carpet. I hope you never have to die. It’s hell and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But… my spirits are high and as God as my witness, I’m going to beat this thing called death.

Oh, who am I kidding? Death is inevitable. Let’s face it, people pass on. Passing on makes it sound like you really weren’t planning on staying long. It’s like you just stopped by to pick up a few things like: some sins, guilt, headaches, a family, debt and maybe a six pack. Where’s Jeff? Oh, he’s gone. He was just passing by anyway. Shame he couldn’t stay longer.

I’m afraid when I die I’ll go through that tunnel and see the big bright light, and then come to find out it’s a damn train coming at me. Then I have to come to terms with dying again. What if this is it? There’s nothing after you die. You just stop existing. I’m going to be pissed. After all I put up with in this life and I get nothing? What about the people who were actually “good”? What a punch in the gut that would be to find out that you were good for nothing (Coincidentally, many have called me that before). To think that you could have been living high on the hog by lying, cheating, and stealing with no repercussions. If that’s the case, I’m going to be doubly pissed.

What if there is an afterlife? That’s a pretty long time. What’s there to do for an eternity? Even if you binge watch every episode of every tv show, you’re still going to have some more time to kill. One good thing is that you won’t have that “I didn’t have time excuse” to throw out. God asks, “Did you bake the angels those cookies?”

You shrug, “Yeah, I just didn’t have time.”

“What do you mean?” God huffs. “You’ve only had forever to do this.”

Many have died and claimed to have gone to heaven and then returned back to earth, because they say, it wasn’t their time yet. Maybe. But maybe, they didn’t like you up there. You weren’t “heaven” material. Perhaps you were like the nerdy guy who wasn’t picked to be on anybody’s dodge ball team. The near death accounts seem to have eerier similarities. They are pronounced dead. They leave their body. Float up through a tunnel. See a ...
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by Jeff Charlebois

Cartoon Image of Jeff with a mic next to his book, "Life is a Funny Thing".

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