Earlier this week I awoke with a massive headache at 4 a.m., but instead of trying to go back to sleep I stayed up and asked Spirit to guide me through the pain.
The throbbing at my temples was intense, but I’m wise enough to know that sometimes if we remove blockage in our spiritual realm, physical hurt will ease as well.
What I discovered that morning is something I’ve always known, but sometimes forget: There are no missed opportunities in life, it’s just that not all opportunities are meant for us, like roles I haven’t gotten over the years. That just meant they were someone else’s blessing, not mine… So instead of feeling bad about something that didn’t come my way, healing the sting is about feeling joy for the person who did get the opportunity.
Have you ever run to catch a train, only to watch the doors close and the train pull away? You stand there feeling frustrated and cheated? Trust that the Universe had a very good reason for you not being on that train! A friend’s father sometimes reminds her: “People rushed to get on the Titanic.”
As I lay there with my head hurting, I trusted that it could feel better. What came up for me was that I had not called my friend Ralph Richeson earlier. Granted, I had only heard, via a private Facebook message, that Ralph was in hospice care the night before. Still, I had every intention of calling him when I awoke. However, by the time I went online to get the phone number that was in the Facebook message, it had been updated and read: “Geri, I regret having to tell you, but Ralph passed early this morning.”
I cannot tell you how horrible I felt that I hadn’t called. However, during meditation a message came through that even if I had made the call earlier, I still wouldn’t have been able to reach him. So I spoke with him that morning through a much better connection than Verizon could ever offer. I expressed to him that I was grateful for knowing him, and was thrilled that we actually had a scene together in the final season of HBO’s Deadwood.
For those of you who are not familiar with Ralph, he is one of those rare background players who caught the creative eye of David Milch and became the eccentric, lovable character of Richardson, who resided at the Grand Central Hotel and had the oddest fixation with a deer’s antler. If we had gone into the 4th season of Deadwood, we probably would have had more scenes together. However, that wasn’t meant to be. As I opened my eyes from my meditation, my headache had already begun to dissipate, making room for his beautiful presence. In my mind I saw his smile.
Although I didn’t know him really well, we both shared the journey of appealing to David Milch’s creative vision, and our characters were very similar in nature. Deadwood put both of us on the map, allowing a dream to come true for both of us in a different way. I guess in some ways we were both inspirations for the underdog. I only had one scene with him in the last season of Deadwood, and as with all of us, we were looking forward to a Deadwood movie, eventually.
The movie is back on the table, and may still be a reality, but there will be some actors who will not return because either their characters were killed off, or the actor didn’t live long enough to be killed off. In any case, there are no accidents in life, and we all must be grateful for every day that we live, because another day is never promised…
Ralph, I raise antlers in honor of your eternal journey.