The end of a life is, often, an impossible time. Grief can feel as though an intricate, musical movement has stopped before its final song. Anyone would feel fragmented while waiting for the closure. Emily Cavanagh, a songwriter with a love of helping people, has found a meaningful way to offer solace through the experience.
A Song for You is a non-profit, born out of the pandemic, and continuing beyond. The purpose is to create individualized songs for hospice patients that tell their stories and remain as powerful, lasting mementos for their families. While it is now comprised of many professional musicians and volunteers, the work began with Emily and her compassion for those dealing with the coronavirus alone in hospital rooms.
“I wanted to find a way to send a little bit of peace or joy or comfort to those people in such a crazy time. What started as just a single call asking, ‘Do you need a song?’ or ‘Can we send a song?’, grew into a larger concept of ‘Can we tell the stories, through songs, of the people that are in these rooms without their families?’ I couldn’t imagine what that would feel like, as someone who’s so close to her family, to not be able to be with mine. What would I want someone to do for me in a time like that? That was my answer to it.”
She started with a cover of The Beatles’ song ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’. Chosen for its relevance to the pandemic and symbolic of the desire to connect through the loneliness- that cover was the first step toward the eventual influx of interest in the work. As requests accumulated, it became more apparent that the initial intention, to write original songs of the patients’ stories, would become deeply appreciated.
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A moving example included a woman, in hospice, who wanted to marry her partner before she died. The song was written as a tribute to her love story and was adored so sincerely by the couple that they danced to it at their wedding under an oak tree in California.
“There’ve been a lot of sad stories that we’ve had to all go through but that was a powerful example of love to transcend something.” Emily expressed that writing the music, though at times an emotional process, has been empowering:
“The fact there was a need for something like this kept a lot of us going because it was a way we could be trying to do something even though it was something small.”
It has even been a way for her and the A Song for You team to show their own appreciation too.
“We wrote for 15,000 healthcare workers. We got to say thank you. That was one of the things I didn’t ever see coming. To say thank you to frontline workers, healthcare workers, first responders and the people who were doing the real work when the rest of us were inside; that was such a gift to me. I don’t even feel like that was something I did for them. That was a real gift for me.”
The process ended up becoming a positive force for Emily in her own health journey, too.
“Anything can happen. I say that in a powerful, bright, cheery way and then I’ve also seen that anything can happen. I went through a bit of a health scare in the pandemic where my legs didn’t work for a solid 3 weeks. It was something they now think may have been triggered by a (the) virus. It was followed by nine months where I walked with a cane I, fondly, named Caney. I had great doctors, and my family and friends really rallied around me. It was ironic to be in and out of a hospital while writing songs for folks in hospitals, but it gave me such perspective. I remained hopeful, and grateful, to the people who kept me laughing and looked after me.”
Many other artists wanted to jump aboard the project during the pandemic, too. It was an opportunity for action in the deactivating period.
“One thing I found so beautiful was that in such a crazy time, everybody said yes to sending a song, sharing a song, writing a song. People that are small time artists, to people who are big time artists to people who have won grammy awards; everybody was like ‘of course!’ Everyone’s experience was different, we know that, but as a musician- we were all stuck inside, and nobody could play their shows or their songs or their music. We got a gift of getting to write and share songs.”
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A Song for You is still overwhelmed with requests. It continues to be an option to gift the patients covers of their favorite songs, but Emily has found that the most interest is in the music to tell the patients’ stories.
When writing an original, the songwriters of A Song for You begin with collecting information the families wish to share about their loved ones. Questions about the patients’ preferences in music, their personality, and what their family members wish to say to them, provide details that are crafted into the songs that are then recorded and given away.
“I’ve always been lucky to work at the intersection of music and service, but I don’t think it ever felt clear how seamless it was. It just feels like a very natural fit to be able to do this work having gone through some of my own loss and then to be able to find ways to help people keep going.”
What Emily says A Song for You really needs right now are professionals interested in the fundraising side of the non-profit. They’re looking for individuals with development backgrounds, non-profit experience, board members and corporate sponsors to get involved so A Song for You can help as many of the people reaching out, as possible.
“It’s a very emotional thing to go through, but you always feel gratitude. It’s what I come back to every time; I just feel so grateful that we get to do something where there’s a little bit of joy. In a time when the world is dark, there is a light we’re able to shine on things.”
by Olivia Austin
