Jeff on a Roll

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Hieroglyphics, Algebra & Philosophy

The Egyptians were one of the first great civilizations to arise along the Nile River. These tanned people wore diaper-like outfits and drove around in compact chariots. Their big claim to fame was constructing giant pyramids so they could store dead pharaohs wrapped from head-to-toe in adhesive tape. They must have been extremely big rulers because their tombs were ...
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Part Deux

In the 15th century, medieval knights hung up their lances and suits of armor in their castle closets. Chivalry was dead and the Renaissance was born. It spread with great speed from its birthplace in Florence, Italy to the rest of Europe. Every region seemed to have its own take on humanism as there was a yearning to get ...
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Physical Torture

Snap, crackle and pop is not just the sound you hear when you pour milk into Rice Crispies, it’s how your body talks during physical therapy (PT). Actually, after a rigorous session of being man or woman-handled, it’s quite like ly that you’ll lack the strength to talk. Many disabled people are all too familiar with the world of ...
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Better Things to Do

Like cell phones, super bowls and Starbucks’ lattes, Facebook has become an indelible part of our lives. For some reason, it’s now imperative that the world be updated on every thing we do. Not only are we informed of one another’s daily activities, but also there are pictures to back it up. We now know what each other’s day ...
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Slam into the Cockpit

After a lovely holiday with the folks in Florida, it was time to get back to reality. I had two kitties back home wondering where the hell Daddy went, and why he hadn’t at least called to check in. I also knew that Los Angeles shuts down when I leave town. (I wish, for once, the city could function ...
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Holiday Cheer

Christmas again. Can you believe it? It seems like just last year we had Christmas. I really enjoy this time of year: decking the halls, hustling and bustling, Rudolph and Herbie taking on the Abominable Snowman and, of course, all the yummy treats. In fact, it’s the only time of year you feel good about packing on 15 pounds. ...
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Park at Your Own Risk

I feel I must revisit an age-old topic: abuse of the handicap parking space. Lately, I’m finding these things are like a girlfriend. Every time I need one, they’re all taken. Is it me, or does everyone now possess one of those blue and white placards hanging from their rearview mirror? It’s getting to the point where we may ...
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A Tail of Two Kitties

The year was 492 BC and Zotikus had just arrived in Athens to study under the astute philosopher Euripides, so named because as a ticket-handler, theatergoers handed him their tickets and said, “you rip a these.” While Plato and Aristotle had stressed the mind and the body, individuality and happiness, Euripides was less conventional. He found thinking too much ...
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Die Laughing

Recently I found out that I’m dying. The news really dampened my day. My doctor says that everyday I’m alive, I get closer to death; he predicts I may not make it past 90. Wow, dying. Now it’s all I can think about. Fortunately my spirits are high. As God is my witness, I’m gonna beat this thing. Death ...
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Part II of the “Greek Geek” Adventure

Zotikus gathered a group a guys to go on his mission with him. He brought his best friend Maximus, a well-known playboy who despised Trojans, Atropos the juggler, Funicius the comedian and Efimia the mime—out-of-work entertainers looking for a little action. Kicking a clay pot down the street had gotten old. “I’m down for a little weekend getaway,” they ...