Jeff on a Roll

Humor Therapy — Plane Sick

Well, it has happened again. Every year I get a head cold that lasts for, maybe, a week or so. It usually occurs when I travel for the holidays. It could be stress related, but I think the culprit is being cooped up in a plane with a bunch of germ-infested human beings. Aren’t ... Read more

Camelrot — King Artie and the Legend: Finally the End

Quieting them, the king carried on, “My brave knights, with the Duke on the run, we may now finally turn our efforts towards finding the most sacred relic in the entire world.” Sir Render leapt to his feet, excitingly responding, “The Beowulf comic book!” Unaware, a thin, deathly-looking, pale young man, dressed in black ... Read more

Humor — Maybe You Can Talk to Me

The other night I was out at the bar, having a few beers and watching the hockey game.  Every so often, I like to just get out, by myself, clear my head with booze and escape into some sporting event that I most likely have placed a small wager on.  I enjoy my alone ... Read more

Money, Money, Money!

There are generally two types of people: those who lend money, and those who borrow money. “Borrow” is a sneaky word with several meanings. Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “To receive with the implied or expressed intention of returning the same or an equivalent.” I, on the other hand, define it as getting something ... Read more

The Future is Coming — There’s No Way to Stop It

­­The future is coming and there’s no way to stop it. For close to 10,000 years the horse was the main mode of transportation, until we hit the 20th century, then, the horse was demoted to just a gambling vehicle. Within a hundred years we went from the horse and buggy to the automobile ... Read more

Dinner Time

Every night, I’m plagued by the same question, what am I going to make for dinner? When you live alone, cooking for one is not so enticing. If someone makes you a meal, you can taste the love in the preparation. When I’m just cooking for myself, I know there’s no love in it. ... Read more

The Milkshake Jones

The other day, I had a hankering for a vanilla shake. I don’t know why it was in my head, but I have a hunch that some mug of vanilla ice cream with whip cream popped up on some commercial, in between some mindless show I was watching, then got stuck in my subconscious ... Read more

Grinding to the American Dream Part 2

(Continued from Part 1…) Ugolini had used his savings to buy a shoe shinning kit. He set up his station on the corner of Seventh and Main. People would recognize him and ask where his cute little monkey was. He would always respond, “Whatta monkey? I never knowa a monkey.” One day, Becky stopped ... Read more

Grinding to the American Dream

The passenger ship pulled into Ellis Island on a hot summer day. The newly arrived Italian immigrants poured off the ship with hopes of finding a better life. Among them was Ugolini, an older man in his sixties, who was short with well-toned, aged muscles that were covered by bushels of curly hair. He ... Read more

Can we Fast a Little Faster?

Being a Catholic, every year I’m hit with this thing called Lent. This is the Christian season of preparation before Easter. The Lenten season is a time when many Christians observe a period of fasting, repentance, moderation, self-denial, and spiritual discipline (Of course they would pick all the things I’m not good at). The ... Read more

A Fish Story

I had decided to go fishing that day. It seemed like a good thing to do; to get away and clear my head. I wanted to spend a little quiet time with myself. Besides, I wanted to prove something, that I could catch a fish. Not just for me, but for my mother. I ... Read more

Chit Chat

It’s good to have friends in life. They say that when you’re older, you can count all your friends on one hand. Where did all the friends in our lives go? One week you’re doing everything with this friend, from dining out to talking on the phone and then, poof, they’re out of your ... Read more

Dying to Know

I just recently found out from my doctor that I’m dying. He says that everyday I’m getting closer to death. He also thinks that I may not make it past ninety-two. He predicts that I’m probably going to die of old age. Wow, can you believe that? Now it’s all I can think about. ... Read more

Come Back as a Kitty Cat

I don’t believe in reincarnation, but if I could come back as any animal after my death, it would be a kitty cat. As a writer, I’m at home throughout the day and able to observe my cat, Olaf, as he goes about his life. It’s not much of a life but, damn, does he have it good. Too ... Read more

Sleepy Time

I only sleep 3 or 4 hours a day, but at night I get eight hours. Every day I wake up at 6 A.M., and then I roll over to get a few more hours of sleep. Some people get up bright and early in the morning; others get up bright and early in the afternoon. But, no ... Read more

Another Wrinkle?!

  I always thought that other people got old, not me. The joint pain in my hands has made it difficult to turn back the clock. Father Time what’s your deal? I’ve given you the best years of my life and this is how you repay me? I guess I first realized I was ... Read more

Nursery Rhyme Reasoning

I’ve always enjoyed those cute little nursery rhymes that I heard as a small child. I never put much thought into those stories, but now that I’m older, I have started to rethink some of them. Call me a maverick, but as I examined the verses, things just didn’t add up. Who were these ... Read more

Shrink on Wheels

The interaction of human beings has always fascinated me. It’s funny to watch the reactions of some people when they meet someone who’s disabled. Most of the time, people are normal, but there’s always a few that seem a little uneasy. Sometimes, it’s hard to get direct eye contact from them. Maybe they think, ... Read more

Beach Day – Humor Therapy

When people want to take a vacation, the most common place is the beach. They rarely say, “I’m going to take the family to the jungle,” or “we’re going to kick it for a few weeks in Damascus”(that’s where the terrorists are hanging out.) So, the beach is the place to go. But is it the best place to go? ... Read more

Year After Year

This year, while visiting the family in Florida for my annual holiday vacation, I ventured over to The Miami Project to get an evaluation and see if there was anything new in the world of spinal cord injury (SCI) research. The Miami Project began in 1985 when Marc, the son of Miami Dolphin’s player ... Read more